By:- Olorunfemi Kehinde
during a Radio Interview section with Evangelist Ogunkilede Joshua on World Counsellors Clinic at Maranatha Radio, Ibadan, Nigeria.
INTRODUCTION
At some point in our lives, most of us face times that are extra stressful or that even shake us to our core. At moments like that is when our inner strength, faith, resilience to life is being tested. At moments like that, having strong coping strategies can make a huge difference.
It’s pretty easy to be happy and content when things are going well in your life; but what about when circumstances change for the worse? How do you react to this type of change? A writer once said, “Character is what you are in the dark.” These dark moments are a reflection of your inner strength, courage, and resilience. Most people go through at least one very difficult time in their life – grief over the loss of a loved one, poverty, job loss, homelessness, or some other tremendous hardship which tests every ounce of strength they can muster.
Life can be downright difficult at times. It can box you in and beat you down, holding no bars. While no one ever said that life would be easy, many of us were often ill-prepared for just how hard things could get. When we suffer through repeated failures and setbacks, getting through the tough times in life can seem like a fairy tale fantasy.
How are we supposed to weather life’s many storms? What happens when the burden of responsibility is just too great for any one person to bear? How are we supposed to get through the tough times, especially when we have little support from the people around us? Does it get any easier than this, or is this all we can ever really expect?
But here’s something to remember that is easy to forget: you are much stronger than you think. And you are stronger still for going through difficult times. You’ll go through an inner storm; you’ll suffer; you’ll beg for it all to end, and it eventually will. When it does end, you’ll come out stronger and better than before.
If you’re going through a difficult time right now in your life, then my heart goes out to you. I sincerely feel for you because I’ve been there all-too often. I know the heartache and pain that comes along with major failure. I know what it feels like to have my life flipped upside down, not knowing where to turn or what to do next.
Getting Through difficult moments
I’ve had my fair share of tough times in life. I’ve suffered through the pain and torment of failure. I cannot even begin to describe the heartache that I have been through. So I know how it feels. I know that life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. But I do know that life is what you make of it.
Whatever we’re going through today, someone else has gone through.
So regardless of how much difficulty you’re facing, or how much strife you’re in at the moment, tough times don’t last. While I don’t profess to have all the answers, I do know a thing or two about disappointment and failure, and overcoming difficult moments in life.
The essence of this talk is to share some of that knowledge and experience with you.
Below, are ways that I’ve relied on and will surely help you get through the tough times, no matter how hard they might seem at the moment.
1. Look to the things you have rather than the ones you don’t
I know it’s tough to look at what you have rather than what you don’t have. It’s partially a problem that’s inherent in our society, one that’s permeated our minds for ages. The truth? We usually want what we don’t have, further infuriating the problem. However, to get through the tough times, we need to look at our haves rather than our have-nots.
Gratitude is the quickest pathway to happiness and peace-of-mind. Numerous findings have proven that when you’re grateful, you’re far happier. When you’re trying to get through the tough times, you usually don’t rely on your gratitude.
Do this. In the morning, every morning, spend 15 minutes writing out everything you have to be grateful for. In the beginning, you’ll find this difficult to do.
I know I did. But over time, as the habit builds, it gets easier. Keep in mind that habit a self-induced hibernation. But hiding won’t help you to get through the tough times; other people will. You might even find it within you to share your story on a greater scale by going to speaking engagements.
3. Rely on your faith and lean on God
Learn to rely on your faith and remember that this too shall pass. Tough times don’t last, tough people do. But in order to become a tough person, we often need to rely on something far greater than ourselves, and there is no greater power than God.
I would have never made it through my tough times without relying on God and my faith that there was a greater meaning to my life. I remember, after one of the monumental failures in my life, how I decided to go to church every single morning at 6am for as long as it took to get my mind right. I didn’t stay for long — 15 or 20 minutes. Each time but the feeling I got from just being there was irreplaceable.
4. If you failed or gave up, find out what went wrong and try again
I’ve failed repeatedly in life. Each failure was painful. But somehow, one way or another, I made it through the tough times. It wasn’t easy, so I won’t even begin to kid you about it. Some of them even had me on the brink, contemplating whether my life was even worth living or continuing on.
Failure, and the resultant pain it causes, can do that to you. It can break you if you let it. But it can also be a platform for something far greater in life. I’ve failed all across the board. From marriage, to business, personal relationships, and everything in between, I’ve experienced the bitter taste of failure. But those failures also set me up for something far greater.
The thing about failure is that it’s one of life’s greatest learning lessons. I know that, sometimes, our tough times didn’t happen because of failure or giving up, they happened because of loss. But even in times of loss, even when it seems as if all hope is gone, you will find the strength from within to conquer even the toughest of times.
However, when your tough times are the result of a personal failure or the fact that you gave up on something, you should revisit that situation. Don’t lose all hope. Don’t give up on life or call it quits. Pick yourself back up again and do it one more time, but better. An old Japanese proverb states, “Fall down seven times, stand up eight.” No truer words have been spoken.
5. Do something that makes you happy
The last, but certainly not least, way to get through the tough times is to do something that makes you happy. What makes you happy? Pull out a sheet of paper and write it down, right now. Don’t wait until later. Brainstorm 10 things that fill you with joy and elation. Maybe it’s spending time with your kids, maybe it’s reading a good book, maybe chatting with friends, whatever it is, write it down. Next, go about doing one thing that makes you really happy every single day. Schedule the time for it like you would schedule the time for a meeting.
Conclusion
Devote at least 30 minutes to things you are involved in that makes you happy of which you have passion for, of course, there is no one solution to diffculties of life. You should find what works for you, but these methods have helped me get through the tough times in life, and I’m sure some combination of them could help you as well.
CONTACT US:
For more information and counselling, contact: 08134195371, 09051435669.
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Or email us at:
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Thank you
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